


My Bloody Valentine

by StakeTheHeart



Series: Binding Love [1]
Category: Victorious
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-02
Updated: 2015-04-02
Packaged: 2018-03-20 22:47:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3668061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StakeTheHeart/pseuds/StakeTheHeart
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I hunted out of hunger but still yearned for something more, something that could fill the void within me. The one I thought could do this for me didn't. The one I never knew could, did. Maybe there was hope for someone like me.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Bloody Valentine

It's true. I'm a natural born killer, and I have wronged many, but I wasn't always like this. I met my first ever love when I was still human. He was everything I wanted. The night my life was taken from me, I sought him out for help. He seemed understanding. He seemed to trust me. But I was wrong. He betrayed me and left me all alone in torturing darkness. His name was Beckett Oliver and he was everything to me. It didn't matter that I was a killer. He still loved me, or so I was deluded enough to believe. I was careful to keep my destructive ways far from him and treated him with the utmost care. I looked forward to being his one and only, his protector. Not once did I ask him to join me, and usually I would have forced things in my favor, but not when it came to him. I was only gentle with him and trusted him with my now dead heart. Yet he was the one who wronged me in the end. He found someone closer and dearer to his heart. Another lover.

One he claimed didn't come with secrets and an underlying fear of death. He left me for her and I couldn't accept it. My already fragile heart couldn't take it. In a fit of rage brought on by my new instincts, I slaughtered her in her sleep and threw the body in the river. He knew what had happened though. He suspected me from the start and confronted me. He wouldn't ever love me again, he said, so I told him for every lover he found I would hunt them down mercilessly. If I would have to live forever without him, then he would live forever without love too. So, they each died randomly and disappeared just as suddenly. I was a master at my trade and he knew this. My work was nearly uncovered only once when the rain hadn't hit hard and the river was reduced to a muddy ditch filled with the corpses of all his past mistakes, but a quick relocation in a shallow grave out at the cemetery settled that. Three more deaths followed before he finally gave up and realized what I told him was the truth.

He no longer tried to find another lover and remained alone. After a long night spent in deep thought I decided enough was enough. Beck would have to be taken care of as well. It was the only way I could ever move on peacefully. I couldn't hold back the constant thoughts of him and I when we were together. It was too much and he would never return. Not even his loneliness would suffice. So, I visited him one night offering to take him back one last time. He refused and I put him to rest swiftly so that he didn't suffer. I needed a more creative way to hide my most recent kill. He was special to me even in death. I had him cut up in pieces and buried all over the world so that wherever I went I knew he was close. I kept his heart with me, however, where it belonged. His case was never solved and it was dropped after five years. It was then I vowed to never give my vulnerable heart to another. I may have been changed into a natural born killer, but I was still susceptible to the pains of my mortal self.

* * *

I carried on, avoiding any form of friendship. It was too hard to trust and too dangerous for all involved should it progress into something more. I often laughed at the irony that I was afraid of others just as much as they feared me the moment I ended their lives for my own needs. I was doing well until I met her; the beautiful Victoria Vega. I had decided to attend a performing arts school when I grew bored of travel. I was stuck as a teen so I figured I might as well take a shot at a 'normal' life. I wasn't expecting her to sneak past my carefully placed defenses and find her way into my cold, unbeating heart but she managed it. I unknowingly accepted her sincere attempt at friendship without hesitation for the first time since I took up my current lifestyle. She was just so honest and caring. I gave into her warmth, wanting out of the isolation I had trapped myself in. We spent time together and I slowly began letting her in. I quickly realized she was all I needed; my savior from the darkness. The only thing that stood in my way was that undeserving ass she paraded around with. He was popular among the students but I hated him as soon as I met him.

I was supposed to be her best friend, the one she went to when things got tough; the one to comfort her. I needed to support her in her choice as she had been supporting me so I sucked up my anger and watched from afar as she opened herself up to him in a way she hadn't with me. I knew I shouldn't be feeling the way I did for her but it was hard to suppress. I liked her; maybe even loved her. These thoughts cycled through my head on repeat as I stared at my dark room vacantly. I was sitting cross legged on my bed, bitterly wondering how Vega was enjoying her time out with mister popular. I smiled at the nickname I started calling her since the first day we met, and soon, I was feeling a little better. Just thinking about her and the memories we shared brightened my mood. The feelings churning in me now pulsed through me with life that beat out what I had felt for Beck all those years ago. Quick knocking alerted me to someone at my door. I gracefully slid off my bed and padded through my quiet house. I pulled open the door to see Tori. She stood soaked and shivering on my doorstep. The expression on her face gnawed at a part of me I hadn't felt in a long time, something only she was able to do.

"Vega, what happened?" I asked her, instantly protective. Her eyes watered and suddenly she was running straight into my arms. She held me tight around my middle and her head burrowed into my neck. The warm tears flowed, and if I had been human, I would have been freezing from her cold body pressed against mine. As it were, the cold rain didn't faze me. I held her close and backed inside so that I could shut the door. When she was all cried out for the time being, she pulled away and I wiped at her cheeks. Her warm skin under my fingers soothed both of us. Any time we were in contact we felt better. It was something we both secretly found comfort in. Her sad brown eyes looked up and locked with mine.

"What happened?" I asked again. Tori shook her head and began wringing her hands.

"He-he dumped me. Today of all days," she whimpered. I held her close to me again and she willingly accepted the security. Today was Valentine's Day. Who would break a heart instead of strengthen it on a day like this? The familiar rage coiled inside me.

"How could he?" I whispered in seething disbelief.

"That's what I thought. I felt like things were actually going well but he told me he wasn't feeling anything. He told me there was another girl he liked and dumped me for her," she explained, her voice cracking. I was glad he hadn't strung her along but he still broke her heart all the same. In my book, either choice was not acceptable. My grip on her tightened slightly. This was what I was hoping for, a chance for her to be mine. I only regretted that it pained her. But that's why I was here to make her feel better. I couldn't let her get away like Beck had; slipping from me and into another's embrace, especially if that other willingly breaks her heart. We always had a connection despite our rocky start and I was sure she felt it too.

"Come on, I'll lend you something dry to wear," I told her. She nodded and I led her by the hand into my room. My house wasn't big, and I was the only one here, but it was still my home. The only person to ever step foot over the threshold, or was even allowed, was Tori. I left her to stand at the door to my room and entered. As usual, Tori hesitated to follow me in. I always assumed it was because she respected my space and didn't want to disrupt it. I dug around for what I needed in my drawers and then returned to her side.

"You can come in. You've been here before. Besides, my space is your space," I assured her. She glanced at me shyly but finally came in. I handed her the clothes and she moved to the connected bathroom. I waited for her to change. Once she came out I took her wet clothes to be washed and dried. When I came back in, Tori was busy looking around, but nothing was out of place and she kept her hands to herself. She was a somewhat nosy person but knew where to draw the line. I cleared my throat and she jumped, spinning around to look at me with wide eyes.

"Sorry, I-you-you have interesting stuff," she mumbled, embarrassed for getting caught probably. I let a small smile grace my lips to let her know that it was ok. She was the only one I ever let see me smile.

"Yeah, look, I'm not going to pry into whatever's going on with you. I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you want to talk. It's the least I can do for your initial respect for my past," I told her, walking over to sit on my bed. She nodded and slowly sat next to me. My eyes scanned her once, noting how weird it was to see Tori in such dark colors. She watched me watch her, a light blush on her cheeks.

"Are you cold?" I asked her.

"No, just…" she answered, her sentence dying.

"Just?" I encouraged. She sighed and pushed her half dry hair out of her face.

"Jade, I don't really know how to phrase this so I'll just say it. Ever since I met you I knew there was something about you I would never understand. But I got to know you for who you are without having to know that strange part of you. I still don't know what that may be but it hasn't affected the way I began to feel about you. In a way, I'm glad I don't have a boyfriend anymore because I'll always have you. You've always been there for me, even when we didn't exactly get along, so thank you for that. But what I'm really trying to say is…I don't know when it started but I like you a lot," Tori explained in a small voice. I had no idea if what I was hearing was indeed the truth so I decided to test her the only way I knew how.

"You just now like me Vega? All those years of friendship, trust, loyalty, and you only started now? I see how it is," I teased. She smiled but shook her head.

"No, I mean, I think I  **really** like you and maybe…maybe more," she rephrased. My smirk smoothed out as I stared at her in hope. I knew I cared greatly for her but I never guessed she was secretly in the same boat as me.

"Really?" I asked, my hand finding hers on the bed between us. She glanced down and then back up to meet my eyes.

"Yeah," she confirmed, that cute blush increasing. I pulled her into an embrace which she returned happily.

"You don't know how long I've wanted to hear that," I whispered in her ear. I felt her shiver and I chuckled. Her constant babbling and clumsy antics should have tipped me off that she had some more than friendly feelings for me, but I didn't want to assume. A broken heart was a monster in more ways than one. I released her and she leaned back enough to see me again but her hands stayed on my shoulders, mine resting on her hips. I was beyond happy but a part of me felt horrible for hiding the one secret about me that had ruined my last lover. I told him and he was forever scarred no matter how many times he tried to deny it. I scared him and our love wasn't strong enough to hold out. I wondered if my connection with Tori would be strong enough. My face must have fallen because Tori's warm hand brushed my cheek in worry.

"What's wrong?" she questioned, her eyebrows slanting in concern. I shook my head but answered anyway.

"Tori, I think I should tell you something about me," I confessed, my voice sounding strangely vulnerable. I didn't like it. It reminded me of the past. I suppressed a growl of frustration and opened my mouth to continue but it was suddenly occupied. Tori was the closest to me than she had ever been before. Her body was pressed to mine and her lips took control easily. I groaned and held her to me. In all my existence I had never been submissive, but Tori crippled me in a truly breathtaking way. Her tongue asked for entrance and I complied, letting the warm and wet muscle caress my own. Her hands pressed at my shoulders and I lied back so that she could straddle my waist. My hands met the skin of her hip during the movement and it caused her breath to catch. She pulled away and looked down at me with blazing eyes. I didn't think I would ever see her like this. Now that I had, I wanted to see it more often.

"Stay here with me?" I asked her desperately. I didn't care how I sounded at this point. She smiled softly and nodded. I grinned and flipped us over so that she was pinned to the bed. My mouth instinctively went to her neck where I almost flinched at the smell coming off her. She still smelled like  **him**. His scent was all over her and I didn't know how I hadn't noticed it before. I memorized it for later and then worked at removing it. She was mine, and I didn't want anyone else's scent to mar her own. My nose skimmed the soft skin of her neck before my lips followed, placing delicate kisses. She tensed under my hands which slipped under her shirt, itching to feel the soft, warm skin of her torso. She was panting, her hot breath barely ghosting on my cheek. I reined in my need for her and leaned close to her ear. I couldn't go on without her permission.

"I want you Tori," I moaned, my hands digging slightly into her tanned skin. A harsh shudder rippled through her at my words.

"Take me then. You've always had me from the start," she breathed out. I growled in response and sealed my lips with hers. Our tongues battled and her hands tangled in my dark hair. She pulled away for air with a chuckle.

"Do you not need to breath?" she teased. I smiled slyly at her joke. If only she knew. One of her hands tucked a deep blue lock of my hair behind my ear. I had dyed it the year I met her. I did it to try something new but she had said she liked to see some color weaving through my hair so I kept it in for her.

"I can do a lot of things without taking a break," I answered suggestively. I shot her a seductive smirk before returning to her neck to run my tongue over her flesh. She was sweet and addictive. Her body arched under me, her hips meeting mine. The sensation made us both groan. Her hands cupped my face and brought me in for another searing kiss that I'm sure would have stolen my breath had I needed to breathe. I pushed up her shirt slowly, gauging her reaction. As much as I wanted this to happen, I wanted it to happen with her full and unbridled consent. I pulled away to look at her and she nodded. Her eyes glowed with desire and something else. I hoped that unnamed and new emotion was love.

"I trust you Jade," she whispered, her words ringing truthfully. I briefly wondered if I trusted myself with her. I told myself repeatedly to treat her as carefully as I could before I shifted my weight to my knees. I held the hem of her shirt in my grasp and then began to pull it off. She lifted off the bed to help me and then I was throwing it over my shoulder. I studied her slim figure under me before my hands began to explore. Her responses to my ministrations were a series of noises, each showing her appreciation. Her body was the hottest I had ever felt, the heat radiating off her skin.

My leg pressed into her and she moaned heavily, grinding into me, making my own hips press back into her. Her hands shook slightly as they yanked at my tank top. I pulled it off in a hurry and then leaned back in to kiss her hard. I nipped at her lip softly and then took it in my mouth. When I released it, her tongue ran over it. I wondered if she could taste me as well as I could taste her, my abilities aside. I wanted her to have me just as much as I wanted her. I needed her to know I was hers. The hated scent I was currently working to get rid of still lingered, making me reluctantly connect this moment with what he could have possibly done with my Tori.

"Did you let him do this to you Vega? Did you let him…" I asked her, unable to continue. My nickname for her was an indicator that I was upset. I knew I gave myself away, but I couldn't help it. It was my unspoken way of communication that she recognized quickly.

"No, I never felt it was the right time to move that far with-" she answered, but I sucked in a harsh breath so that she didn't say his name. She stopped quickly, her mouth snapping shut in understanding.

"He never deserved you. I don't want to hear about him while I'm here, in this moment, with you. I just want it to be us," I told her sincerely. She nodded, a smile on her face. She slid a hand behind my head and pulled me close so that we could resume. The fact that she never let him get this far excited me. Deep down, Tori knew it wasn't the right choice. She was giving  **me**  the permission, and I couldn't help but be thankful. My attention zeroed in on her hands which ran over my now lukewarm skin. I could tell she was nervous and hesitant to touch me so I grabbed one of her hands. She froze in my grip, but relaxed when I moved it to rest on the waistband of my sweats. She broke our kiss to look at me with wide eyes. I smirked and then dragged my hands over her torso, passing her hips, and taking her own pants with them. I slipped them off and tossed them aside, slightly surprised when she followed my example. I gazed at her amazing body and knew she was doing the same to me.

"You're beautiful," she mumbled, her blush making me smile. She was adorable when she was shy.

"You aren't too bad yourself," I responded teasingly. She chuckled before she pushed off the bed, forcing me to slip off her. I fell back on my elbows with a push from her and soon she was the one straddling me. I might prefer being dominant but her sudden confidence was a major turn on. Her hips met mine and her strong legs held me down. She leaned in to kiss me, biting my lip when she pulled away. Her kisses trailed over my jaw and down my neck, turning into wet open mouth kisses. I let my head tilt back to give her room and then she was nipping at my skin. I let a groan slide past my slack mouth.

I was in the middle of wondering how she could unravel me like this when her teeth sunk into the skin of my shoulder roughly. I arched under her, a cry of pleasure on my lips. My teeth clenched and bared, instincts lashing out. My fingers dug into her waist, and I tried not to let my nails pierce her skin, but the way her teeth repeatedly attacked me had me on the border of control. Her hands deftly snaked around to my back and unhooked my bra. She threw it aside and her hands came back around to explore the newly uncovered flesh. I gasped at the amount of pleasure she was putting me through.

Her hips rocked into mine once and soon I couldn't hold us up anymore. We fell back with her on top of me, but the change in position didn't stop her. My senses were going haywire as she continued to rock into me at a slow pace. Her hands still explored and her mouth came back up to latch onto mine. By now my own hands had moved up, only to drag down her back, nails on soft skin. She hissed in pain and pleasure, thrusting into me harder. I snarled into her mouth, completely lost in my building need. I shoved her back, and sat up while she leaned back on her knees. My rough handling made her smirk but it turned into shock when my teeth snagged the middle of her bra.

I effortlessly cut through the material with my sharp teeth and yanked it off her. She stared at me in silent awe and I took advantage. I knocked her over on her back and held her down. At this point I was glad my teeth looked normal to any human but in reality were cutting edge sharp when I wanted them to be without looking out of place. I was pretty sure I looked at Tori like I wanted to eat her. It was because, well, I did. I could hear her racing heart and smell the blood coursing through her. My eyes fluttered, thinking about tasting her blood. I shook the thought out of my head and then dived down to get rid of the last piece of clothing on her.

"Jade…" Tori whimpered, making me stop. I looked up at her to see the love I had waited for all this time. The sight of it took the edge out of my desire. My teeth were blunt once more as I leaned up and pressed my lips to hers with care. I tried hard to make her feel the love I had for her. Her hands slid over mine in encouragement before she buried them in the dark sheets under us. I pulled out of the sensual kiss so that I could look her in the eyes when I removed the last thing on her. They slipped down her slender legs and then they were off. A flick of my wrist and they were on the floor with the rest of our clothes. I appraised her now fully exposed body and couldn't help but let out a sound of satisfaction. My hands ran up her thighs, starting at her knees and ending on her hips. I came back down her inner thigh, making her shiver.

"Please, Jade," she begged, brown eyes clouded and desperate. I made my way back up and brushed over her softly. Her body immediately reacted, her hips lifting slightly to meet my hand. Her eyes closed and she whimpered submissively. I leaned over her, my other hand moving up to cup her cheek so that she looked me in the eyes. My thumb ran over her face, making her open her eyes but remain half lidded. My hand teased her, coating my fingers in her essence. I smirked, no longer catching even the slightest whiff of that loser. She was all mine to take.  **I** made her like this. Not him. I made sure she was still looking at me when I finally entered her, slow and deliberate. She muffled a whine by biting her lip and I swallowed the erotic noise with my mouth over hers. My hand quickly went to work, pumping in and out of her slowly at first.

Once she was accustomed to the intrusion, I sped up. Her hips rose to meet every thrust in a rhythm we found together. Her hands tightened on my hair before they moved to my back where she dug them in my pale flesh. I growled and added another finger, my pace a little rough. The noises I dragged out of her rose in pitch. I traced her lips with my thumb before bringing our lips together for a quick kiss. I pushed her mouth away with my own so that I could nip down her neck. I came to the delicate slope where her neck met her shoulder and finally sunk my teeth in. They cut into her skin easily, making her body under me suddenly tense. Her scream of ecstasy when she finally came brought me back from the feral possessiveness I had fallen into. I helped her ride out the remaining waves and then pulled away, my hand slick with her, and the smell of her arousal thick in the air.

I basked in it, loving the way it clung to me, marking me as hers. I leaned in to apologetically run my tongue over the wound I inflicted. It healed quickly under my tongue into a pair of crescent shaped scars, the marks that told others like me that she was mine. I licked the remaining blood from the corner of my lips before raising my eyes to hers, slightly hesitant of what I'd find there. I smiled in amusement and some relief. Tori's body was completely relaxed and worn out under mine. Her eyes had fluttered closed with a content smile on her lips. I chuckled happily to myself, lying next to her for a moment, and listened to the rain. I took in a deep breath, let it out slowly, and then pushed off the bed. I carefully rearranged Tori so that she was under the covers. She curled up on her side, mumbling something. I leaned in and kissed her cheek.

"I love you Tori," I whispered to her, my hand reaching out to comb back her brown hair so I could see her face. She sighed under my touch.

"Love you Jade," she muttered sleepily in return. I grinned and left her to rest. I looked for clothes consisting of nothing but black and then picked up my black leather steel toed combat boots on the way out of my room. I glanced at Tori one more time before closing the door. I slipped on my boots in the living room and then grabbed my leather jacket off the hook in the hall. I locked the door on my way out. There was someone I was dying to see get what he deserved for hurting my mate. I smirked at the thought and then stepped out into the pouring rain. His scent was still clear in my head but it no longer irked me as much. Tori's scent was branded in my senses and clung to my body. The rain had no effect on it.

I sped up my stride into a run and then sped up until I was running faster than humanly possible. I was tracking his smell, even through the rain, with ease. I found his house in no time and stopped at a window that looked in on his bedroom. He was in the middle of fucking a blonde, her cries and his groans only serving to piss me off further. He must have dumped Tori because she wouldn't sleep with him. It was probably way easier for him to get in this chick's pants. I waited patiently for them to finish and the blonde to leave before I pushed open the window and climbed swiftly into the house. I cringed at the smell of sex lingering in the room. I kicked my heel against the wall behind me, loud enough that he came walking back in with a frown. He was only wearing a pair of jeans when he sauntered in. His eyes looked me up and down lecherously with a huge grin on his face.

"Two in one day. Now that is too good to be true," he said, failing at being seductive. A hand went to the fly of his jeans suggestively where he was already hard again. I gave him a disgusted frown as I leaned back against the wall but he didn't seem to notice.

"Really? Why don't you come at me big boy and test that out?" I encouraged him misleadingly. He swaggered over, but before he could lay a finger on me I unleashed my pent up rage I reserved all for him. He didn't even see it coming. I lunged at him, my hand gripping his neck in a choke hold, careful not to break it and end his life before I could make him suffer. I slammed him into the wall behind him and it cracked under the force. His breath was squeezed from his lungs with a grunt. His eyes flew open in fright, the smell of urine in the air. I smirked, proud to make him piss himself. I let a rumbling growl slip from my mouth as I leaned in.

"So, how was the skimpy little blonde? Was she any good?" I questioned conversationally, a margin of a threat in my tone. He only quaked in my grasp, too scared to answer.

"I asked you a question," I hissed, baring my teeth. He was quick to nod this time.

"Good, glad you enjoyed the last fuck of your life. I hope you've chosen wisely; I mean, since you couldn't very well live up to Tori Vega's standards now could you?" I taunted. Anger flickered in his expression. I was slightly impressed he expressed anything other than fear. His wide hand came up to try and pry off my grip but he wasn't able to. That was when the fear set in again.

"Wait, I know you! You're that West bitch Tori hangs out with!" he stated, recognition in his gaze. I tightened my hold and pulled him forward only to slam him back against the wall.

"I wouldn't talk shit right now," I warned him. He flinched and nodded.

"Ok, I'm sorry, but what the  **fuck** are you?" he pleaded, his voice cracking and raising a few octaves. I smiled triumphantly.

"Death," I replied calmly. I forced his head back roughly so that his neck was stretched out in front of me. His pulse was thrumming just under the skin, making my blood lust spike.

"Oh God," he cried, his hands gripping at my jacket, anything to put him at ease. Tears ran down his face but I had run out of mercy for him a long time ago.

"No God here," I told him, my voice slipping into a snarl. I lunged at his throat, my sharp teeth tearing flesh savagely. I pulled back, taking chunks of flesh with me. His blood flowed freely once his neck was torn out. I reveled in the hot liquid as it ran over my tongue. I latched onto his ravaged throat to suck out the last of it before dropping his body. It fell with a heavy thud on the hard wooden floor. His skin was a ghostly pale which contrasted with the bright red spreading across the floor. I was panting now, the high of the kill making everything so focused and precise. I took a moment to calm down before moving back to the window but I caught sight of myself in a full length mirror as I passed.

I stopped and gazed into the emotionless black eyes of the killer I really was; a shark among a school of fish. My pallid skin looked almost like the already cooling body behind me, blood spattered across my face and dripping from my chin. I snarled and slammed a fist into the thick glass, shattering it into a million pieces. A part of me wished I didn't have a reflection. I looked down at the cuts on my fists. They were slowly sealing back together, the damage nonexistent in seconds. I cracked my neck and rolled my shoulders before taking a running leap through the window. I didn't break momentum and just hit the ground running. The rain beat against my skin, cleansing it of the red that stained it. I headed back home where hopefully my lover waited with what I hoped to be open arms.

* * *

I opened the door to my house and slipped in. It was quiet but the light in the kitchen was on. I took two steps before Tori poked her head out from around the corner. She brightened when she saw me and rushed over to stand in front of me. She was freshly washed, the smell of my soap drifting in the air. My own personalized scent underlined the other fragrances, reminding me of our time together. I liked smelling me all over her. Her eyes turned questioning when she scanned my rain soaked body.

"Where'd you go?" she asked. I looked away from her searching gaze and instead looked at the floor. For the first time I actually felt guilty for giving into my nature. With Beck I assumed he would accept me and that was my downfall. With Tori, I didn't want her to see me any differently than how she did. I was afraid to tell her the truth, but I had to. I cared too much for her not to.

"Jade?" she tried again, her hand resting on my freezing cheek. I lifted my tortured gaze to her, wishing I could cry. Tori must have seen something in my eyes because she pulled me into her arms.

"Tell me when you're ready, ok? Don't worry, I trust you," she reminded me. I held her close, hoping so much for that to always remain the truth. I pulled away from her and wiped at my face.

"Um, I'm going to take a hot shower. Were you looking for something to eat?" I asked her with a gesture to the kitchen, trying to get rid of the way my voice shook. Tori glanced at the kitchen and then back to me.

"Oh, um, yeah, but you barely have anything in there," she mumbled. I nodded.

"I uh, I'll explain everything after I take a shower. I want to share everything with you Tori," I told her honestly. I took her hands in mine, noting the way she shivered at the clammy temperature. I dropped them quickly and moved toward my room.

"There's money on the desk in my room. Help yourself to some and order a pizza or something," I suggested, keeping my head down as I walked.

"Jade, wait," she protested, her hand grabbing my wrist. I froze and she walked around to stand in front of me again. She studied my face a few minutes before putting a hand to my chin and making me look up at her.

"I love you no matter what. Always remember that," she reminded me sternly. I quirked a corner of my lips in a small smile, showing that I heard her.

"As long as you remember that I'll always love you too," I responded. She smiled that bright smile that drew me to her since we met. I leaned in and kissed her softly before walking around her, continuing on the path to my room. I heard her follow behind me, understanding my silent request for space. I grabbed the clothes I had worn earlier and went into the bathroom. I heard her collect the money and then leave. I relaxed in the shower as best I could and thought of ways I could confess to Tori the whole other side of my lifestyle. When I was sure all traces of blood was scrubbed off me I got out. I toweled off my hair and ran a brush through it before throwing on some lounge clothes and leaving the bathroom to return to the living room. Tori sat on the black leather couch in front of the TV. A box of pizza sat on the coffee table in front of her. She was a slim girl but I always wondered how she could put away all that food she ate and still keep that hot figure of hers. I shook my head with a smile and plopped down next to her.

"Hey you. Wanna eat some pizza and watch Celebrities Underwater with me?" she asked, taking a big bite of a veggie lover's pizza. I turned down the pizza with a shake of my head. The smell that hit my nose reminded me of a time when I was still human. Right about now my stomach would growl and my mouth would water. I had done a pretty good job of avoiding the fact that I never ate. Instead, I made it seem like I just ate sparingly. Eventually, she got used to it and stopped asking.

"I told you before, if they don't actually drown then what's the fun in watching it?" I replied with a shrug. She sighed and shook her head, lifting the remote to change the channel. I sat with her watching some crime drama while she ate and then we were back in my room. She sat down on my bed casually while I began to run a rut across my room and back. She watched me silently, patience of a saint as always. I finally stopped and faced her. I couldn't keep the worry out of my expression.

"I'm a horrible person," I whimpered, hating that my voice was yet again weak and unguarded. She jumped from the bed to hold my hand in hers, concern in her eyes.

"How could you say that?" she asked in genuine confusion. What had I been doing all this time? I was lying to myself and her. I fell in love with the gentlest creature ever, only to go on a hunt to kill when her back was turned. I grit my teeth and my grip on her tightened. I pulled away before I broke her hand. Instead, I slammed my fist down on my mahogany dresser. The top split under the force and I growled in frustration. I turned back to look at Tori who watched with wide-eyed shock.

"I'm not normal, Tori. I'm a killer. A monster. I take out my pain on others and kill to sustain myself," I tried to explain. Tori was completely confused. She shook her head with furrowed brows, not understanding.

"I killed him. I left while you were asleep and ripped his throat out. I couldn't stand someone breaking your heart, I just couldn't! Not when the same thing was done to me. I know the hurt you suffered, but know this, despite what I am I still love you with my whole existence and I only wanted to do what I felt needed to be done. It wasn't humane or even fair to take his life but I don't regret it," I admitted, my voice unsteady yet constant. Tori looked at me with tears in her eyes.

"You killed him?" she asked hesitantly. I squeezed my eyes shut at the tone in her voice; disbelief, sadness, and hurt. I caused her pain. I let her down. I fell to my knees and bowed my head.

"I can't help what I am. I'm selfish," I confessed. I didn't know if I still had a heart anymore, but right now, it felt like it was aching. Tori knelt down in front of me and lifted my head softly. Her face was oddly blank and emotionless.

"Tell me everything Jade, starting at the very beginning," she spoke plainly. I nodded, taking the hand she had on my chin in between my own.

"Promise me you'll listen to all of it before you make a decision? Whatever you decide when I'm done…I won't stop you," I responded brokenly. After all these years I understood true love. I was willing to give it up because the pureness of such a feeling did nothing but point me in the right direction. I didn't feel used and thrown away this time around. I actually felt loved in return, and that alone was enough for me. What was that saying, if you truly love it then let it go?

"I will," she answered truthfully. I nodded and she pulled me to my feet. We sat on the bed and I began my long tale. Tori did what was asked of her and listened through the whole thing. She looked sad throughout the part of my life containing Beck but she smiled when I described what it meant to me when I was with her. She had to tell me to stop for a moment when I got to my most recent kill. She looked a little green. When she managed to hold back the pizza she just ate I finished my story. We sat in darkness but the birds outside signaled that it was now morning. The rain had stopped and the power of the sun's rays lit up the black curtain I had up but it didn't pass through it. The sun didn't affect me very much. Yeah, I burned easy, but that was it as long as I was well fed. I looked to Tori who sat up against the headboard of my bed.

She looked lost in thought so I remained quiet to let her think. Eventually she closed her eyes and nodded. She slid off the bed silently and began gathering her things. I watched with a heavy heart as she gave me one last look. I couldn't read the clashing mix of emotions in her eyes but it didn't matter. She made her choice and it wasn't me. She left shortly after that and I let her go. I wouldn't make the same mistake I made with Beck. I learned a lot since meeting Tori and I loved her too much for that. I didn't leave the house after that day. I wrote myself a note to school explaining that I was seriously sick and couldn't come in. I spent a week just wallowing in the painful sorrow that stabbed at what I once considered a dead heart. It may not pump lively but it was very much alive. I learned that the hard way. Now, all I had left were the memories.

* * *

When another week passed and I couldn't go without blood on top of my depression, I slipped out at night. I returned when I had enough. I stepped into my deathly quiet house and shut the door behind me. I reeked of alcohol and cigarettes from the club I snuck into. It was the easiest to snag what I needed from a bunch of partiers who missed everything that went on around them. I made sure to keep the men's paws and the women's claws off me while simultaneously taking from those without too much alcohol in their systems. I was pretty sure they would be going home just as unsteady as those who drank a lot though. Blood loss tends to do that.

I pulled off my boots and chucked them aside then hung up my jacket. I padded over to my room and pushed the door open, freezing when the familiar scent hit my nose. I hesitantly entered my room to see Tori Vega running a hand over the jar holding Beck's heart. It was covered in dust and pushed to the back but I still kept it. It was a ghastly reminder of where I started and where I was now. I would never be that monstrous again. I cleared my throat and Tori jumped, skittering away from the desk to bump into the bed. She played with her hands nervously and her eyes darted around the room, avoiding my blank stare.

"What are you doing here?" I asked tiredly. She looked concerned by my voice, I could tell. Even  **I**  could hear that it lost its usual strength. My appearance probably looked no better.

"I didn't know beings like you go through heartache just as easily as we do," she spoke up, trying to aim for joking, but I wasn't in the mood. I only focused on the way she separated what I was from her. I sighed at my melodramatic thoughts and waved a hand at her.

"Vega, go home. You don't want to be here," I told her, walking over to kneel in front of the drawer I had pulled out from the dresser and set on the floor. It was the top shelf I couldn't access now that the top of the dresser caved in when I broke it. I caught Tori eyeing the dresser before her gaze settled on me.

"I'm not going anywhere, West. I came here for a reason," she stated, her voice firm in her resolve. I scoffed and stood, finding what I was looking for. The use of my last name struck a nerve but I ignored it. I walked past her toward the bathroom.

"And what reason is that?" I inquired flippantly. I pulled off my shirt and dropped it, then gathered the shirt I was going to put on later. My tone seemed to set something off in her because she marched over to me with fire in her eyes and pushed me back into the wall. I hit the hard surface solidly, her hands burning into my bare shoulders.

"Don't think I don't know how to handle you when you get like this. I've dealt with all your mood swings, West," she spat, surprising me with the way she took charge. I growled at the use of my last name again. I hated when people did that. It reminded me of Beck. He used it as a way to show he held no more feelings for me. The thing that really upset me was that Vega knew this now and she still did it.

"Don't push me,  _Vega_ ," I hissed back, my teeth on display instinctively. She stared me down until I had to look away. Those chocolate browns were piercing me in a way I usually did to others. I sighed heavily and drooped against the wall.

"What do you want from me?" I asked her in a defeated manner. I couldn't stay mad at her. Her hands left my shoulders but pulled me against her by my belt loops a moment later.

"I want you," she answered, the love I had heard before back in her voice. I looked up to see her smiling hopefully at me, all traces of her earlier anger gone.

"What?" I questioned, my tone suggesting she was crazy. She ducked her head, the shy Tori I knew resurfacing.

"It took me a long time to come to terms with everything, but I finally decided. I love you Jade West and I don't think I have the strength to walk away from you despite what you've done in the past. I know you're a different person now, changed for the better. I accept you for who you are," she told me sincerely. Now I  **really** wish I could cry, only to show her how much her words meant to me.

"Tori…I-thank you," I fumbled, trying to find the right words and just going with simple gratitude. She smiled sweetly and I pulled her in for a hug.

"I love you too Tori. I really, really do," I mumbled into her neck. We pulled back, matching genuine smiles on our faces.

"So I'm a person?" I teased her, trying to lighten the mood. She rolled her eyes and let out a dramatic sigh.

"You are to me," she finally replied softly.

"That's good enough for me," I responded, leaning in to press my lips to hers. I moved away from her to retrieve my dropped shirt but she pulled it from my grasp. I gave her a confused glare but she just tossed the clothing away. Her smoldering gaze found mine and I faltered. She removed her own shirt and my eyes got reacquainted with her slim figure. I spotted the mark on her shoulder and frowned guiltily. Tori understood the reason for my expression and reached up to run a hand over the shiny scar that was a few shades lighter than her skin.

"I saw this for the first time when I was getting dressed at home. I caught a glimpse in the mirror and almost flipped out," she explained sheepishly.

"I told you I've…well, I can't…you know," I finished lamely. It was an uncomfortable topic I wanted to avoid.

"I know. I didn't even feel you bite me. I was too…distracted. It's just so strange how everything about you makes sense now. It's like I finally found that last puzzle piece and I can finish the picture. You're really amazing, you know that?" Tori told me, beaming at me. I shook my head and stepped closer to her.

"You make me feel alive again. Without you, I might have become the monster I was supposed to be," I whispered, my hands coming up to cup her face. I let my thumbs smooth over her skin, missing everything about her.

"And I'll always be there for you whenever you need me," she responded, her own hands doing the same to me. I leaned in to kiss her soundly on the lips and then pulled away.

"You can wait here if you want. I need to get this funk off me, it's driving my nose nuts," I joked. She giggled but caught my arm before I could leave.

"Um, I'll fix that for you Jade. This way is much better anyways," Tori suggested. I turned around to question her when her lips found mine in a hungry kiss I returned eagerly. Her tongue playfully evaded mine, making me growl in frustration. Tori pulled away to laugh at me, backing towards the bed.

"What's so funny?" I asked her, curious to know what she was thinking.

"I just noticed the sounds you make. It's hot," she admitted, a blush coloring her cheeks while she bit her lip. I smirked and began stalking forward. I let a rolling snarl slip out from between my teeth for her benefit before tackling her on the bed softly. I held her in my arms when I lunged and then turned so that my back hit the mattress first. Once we were no longer in motion, I rolled over to pin her down and licked languidly under her jaw. She moaned, her hands grabbing at the sheets.

"I think I can use this to my advantage. You know, I noticed you like it rough," I breathed out against her ear, hoping to rile her up. She kissed me hard in response and tugged on my bottom lip towards the end. I laughed and reached for the button on her jeans but she slapped my hand away. She grabbed my shoulders and flipped us around, her legs hugging my waist.

"And I noticed how you like it when  **I'm**  rough with  **you**. It turns you on to see soft and gentle me showing dominance over you," Tori retaliated. I smirked and held her chin in my hand.

"It seems so," I told her, firmly bringing her lips to mine. I couldn't even get her tongue to bend to my command. She won the little battle and then pulled away. Her hands deftly slipped off my pants and then tore at my bra.

"I can't believe you ruined my bra last time," Tori panted, shaking her head as her hands caressed me. I bit back a moan and chuckled instead.

"I don't regret it," I ground out defiantly. She added force and I cried out.

"I know you don't, but let's be honest, those teeth of yours are just another great turn on. Let's see if mine are just as good," she replied confidently. She bit down on the side of my neck and my body lifted off the bed.

"Fuck, harder!" I snarled. She complied and then locked her jaw on my shoulder. Her hands forced my body down only so her hips could rock against me. I gasped and whimpered. Tori pulled away to smirk.

"You bruise," she noted, her feather light touch running over the recent mark.

"Yeah, but it'll heal fast. You on the other hand…" I told her with a sexy bite motion at her. She smiled at my antics. My hands ran over her hips and down her thighs in longing. Tori pressed into me again and I closed my eyes.

"Tori…" I pleaded, my hand going to the button of her pants again. She slid off me and I took the opportunity to yank them off. I was too forceful with the button so it popped off and the zipper was almost totaled but I finally got the skinny fuckers off her. I took care of her bra and was on my way lower when her own hands grasped mine.

"It's your turn," she said with a shake of her head. I frowned at her questioningly but she answered by pushing me over. She grabbed my legs and pulled me closer. I was taken aback by the new demanding side of her so I had no time to protest. She dragged her fingers up my thighs and then came back around to hook into my last remaining clothes. She pulled them away so slowly and then tossed them off the bed. She gave me a look I had yet to decide what it meant before she was between my legs. As soon as she began her teasing I was a quivering mess. I might be a no good murderer when the situation strikes me, but right now I couldn't help but compare myself to nothing more than what I should have been had I been human, a wet and worked up school girl whose girlfriend was doing things to her she couldn't possible describe.

I smiled at the prospect of Tori being my girlfriend but it quickly turned into an open mouthed cry of pleasure I didn't regret. I knew Tori was a great kisser so I had no problem admitting that tongue of hers was just as skilled in other things. I was soon lost in waves of intense euphoria when I finally came. Tori kissed her way back up my body until her mouth was back on mine. The scent and taste of my own arousal had me worked up again in no time. Fuck it being my turn. I wanted her again. Tori pulled away for air and then came back for more but I ducked away from her. I tilted my head under hers so that my teeth latched onto her neck. I held her still, like a gazelle stuck in the jaws of a hungry lioness. I carefully rearranged our position so that she was on her back. My hold on her neck tightened slightly and she whimpered. I let her go and passed a soothing cold hand over the skin.

"Why are you stopping?" she wondered, looking at me. She was panting heavily but she managed her question.

"I don't want to hurt you," I mumbled, leaning down to brush her lips with mine.

"You won't. I trust you," she replied against my lips. I nodded, my hands wandering. She sighed and closed her eyes. I smirked deviously, waiting until she opened them so she could see what I was going to do next. I kissed down her taut stomach and then licked back up. Her eyes widened slightly before my teeth snagged onto the only thing keeping me from seeing her whole body. She looked at me with creased brows meant to discourage but I was already tearing them off her with a growl. My teeth shredded the material and I flung them aside.

"Shit Jade, those were my favorite!" she complained, leaning up on her elbows. I smirked at the use of a curse word, which she rarely if ever uses, and just shrugged.

"You know I hate pink," I replied nonchalantly. She was about to protest, I could see it in her eyes, so I leaned in and silenced her with a kiss. I held her close so that our bodies were flush together. One hand braced against the mattress and the other ran down her side. She shuddered, biting into my lip roughly before pulling away. I licked my lip and then leaned in to lick her bottom lip too. I began to slowly grind into her, little gasps escaping her with each one. I could feel how wet she was and groaned. Being what I was I could go on without getting tired. She had her fun, now I wanted to pleasure her. I wanted to forever make her feel good. I reached down and lifted a leg up on my hip so that she was exposed to me. I looked up at her, my hand on her inner thigh. I kissed her cheek and then breathed softly on the sensitive skin under her ear.

"Beg me?" I asked of her, licking the shell of her ear. She nodded eagerly.

"Please, Jade…" she pleaded. Just as before, I waited for her gaze to sync with mine before I plunged into her with two fingers right off the bat. Her cry excited me as I began to pump in and out, my thumb adding to her pleasure. I rubbed and pumped into her relentlessly, her hips rising and falling to meet my now faster pace. My other hand tightened on her leg as I studied her face the moment she came. I felt her tighten on me and the way her muscles twitched throughout her body. She finally rode it out with a sigh and I slid my fingers out with an extra caress against her soft walls. She gasped and looked up at me with half lidded eyes that flew open when I brought my fingers to my mouth. I was back to appreciating her scent, and now that I had a taste I reveled in that too. I licked my lips and then leaned over to press a heated kiss to her mouth. I ended it and moved to lie next to her. Tori found my hand next to her and entwined our fingers.

"I don't think I'll ever get tired of this," she admitted. I chuckled and nodded in agreement.

"I  **know**  I won't get tired of this," I confirmed. She smiled but it slipped away suddenly.

"Ok, this may seem…personal, but, well…" Tori stumbled, worry over upsetting me clear on her face.

"You can ask me anything. Nothing about me will ever be hidden from you again," I assured her. She nodded and continued.

"Have you ever…you know, with…Beck?" she mumbled quietly. The question caught me by surprise but I was happy to give my answer.

"No, we came close a couple times when I was still human, but he didn't see me the same anymore after. Even when he said he didn't…but that's the past and I'm done with it. I'm glad I never gave him that experience because now I can share it with you," I told her with a smile. She returned it, touched. I reached over and pulled her close so that I held her in my arms.

"Love you," I whispered against her lips, a kiss following my words.

"Love you too," she replied, the minute she was able to. I pulled the covers over both of us and held her protectively against me. Maybe a little possessively too. She was mine after all. The combination of the blankets and her hot body, figuratively and literally, warmed me up so that I wasn't a block of ice. Tori fell asleep pretty quickly and I spent the time waiting for her to wake up by recounting every memory I ever had with the wonderful girl in my arms. She saved me from myself as well as my internal demons. I knew I was a better person with her by my side. Whatever happened in the past was in the past. I had to let it go, not torment myself. The future was what was important. I would make sure nothing ever happened to my one and only love, Victoria Vega. I tucked my head in the crook of her neck and closed my eyes. When Tori wakes up I'll get her something to eat and then we could watch that one show she likes. I smiled at the thought and waited patiently for my love to wake up.


End file.
